I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
