Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
