where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
