so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
