I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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