Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
