What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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