She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
