You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
