He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
