Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
