you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
