Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
