before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
