Barsexuality is the new black.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just found a bag of teeth...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
being pregnant is like rehab
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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