The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
