hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
