Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize