He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
