First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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