She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
