Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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