I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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