making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
