So drunk its hurt
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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