ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
