yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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