I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
