i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize