i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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