I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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