I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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