Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
