I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The air was thick with penises
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
