I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
