Don't you send me to vm
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
