either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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