I like to think it a success when the cops are called
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
