Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
