Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize