I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
