She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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