sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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