So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
