Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
