i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
