Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
