Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
