I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
