Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
