I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
