i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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