Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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