we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Alive.
So much puke
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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