tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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