definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
