Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
