You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
