Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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