She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
