Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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