Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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