but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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