dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
